...and the famine continues

I sometimes wonder what's wrong with me. I have come to this place so often wanting to blog about something that instigated me or made me exuberant. I can still see those writings in drafts but as has happened with most of my blogs they just stay there, never seeing the light of the public domain. And I don't think they ever will! Instinct made me write some things but on second thoughts I never actually published them, partly because they seemed too personal and partly because they were about people who would probably get offended......hoping this famine ends soon and I can conjure up a narrative worth sharing…Amen to that!

Emotion vs. Logic

As a colleague flirted with a near pink-slip like situation at office and was getting all emotional about it I remember telling the person to take things logically and not attach emotions to the situation. As the person cried, everyone seconded my advice to the person - get practical. We all love to be logical to the most emotional situations. It left me wondering.... why?

Is it really possible to be not attached to your everyday activities/people? I mean your work, your colleagues, etc....shouldn't they always matter? How can one work when one is not involved? It’s human to get attached, then why the pride in being indifferent? I guess because most of us have learnt the hard way that emotions are wasted with the members of our creed. It’s better to score a point logically than applying any emotional sense to it and losing the argument. Another possibility of why we are generally scared of getting emotional is the fear that the feeling might not be reciprocated. Oh what a humiliation if you are emotional and the person in front is logical, isn’t it? With this thought we are being more cowards than logical ....or so I think.

In all this emotion vs. logic debate, I am still on the latter’s side. But I do know what I am missing and I guess that’s a solace in itself!

A sarcastic rebuke!

Walking on a busy road , I was following 2 men, when suddenly one of them missed his balance and bumped into the other one

The man who bumped (Man 1): I am sorry.
Man 2: Acha hain. Dhakka deneka , phir sorry bolneka. (What man! first you bump into me and then just say sorry)
Man 1: Toh kya apni property tere naam karu kya? (What else do you expect? Should I name you my heir?)

I burst out involuntarily and disappeared before I hurt or pampered any egos ;)

A teary act!

 As I flipped thru the many reality shows available on Indian television I was amazed at the creativity displayed by the contestants. The singers were amazing, the dancers at times were better than our so called film superstars and the jokes in the standups, way better than the comedy films that they dole out these days. But as soon as the contestants start speaking about their personal lives I cringe and switch the channel. My mom adores the crybabies on stage and I am usually reprimanded for being insensitive. 

I am amazed at the way our television creates hoopla, its either thru voyeurism or thru the sad stories of participants. And it’s even more amazing to see the urban population hooked onto series where all they do is utter the 'f' word, display their brattish behavior, or put forth their sad stories; all in the name of being honest. Pick up any show, KBC included; tell me one of them which doesn't try to cash onto the sorry-state of the participants. The participants narrate the sorry state of their lives and the host/ess gets all set to wipe out the tears and bring a smile in their battered lives. And the participant, just after a hug from the celebrity is all set to face the tribulations of life. I wonder what else? What's the next thing that will increase the TRP of the show because I am sure with the tears flowing at the drop of a hat in every other show they need to come up with something else now, something more touching .

No, I am not saying everyone there is lying but I just don’t see a way to distinguish the true ones from the fake ones. I have become a cynic enough to feel that all of them are fake. Maybe honesty is just no longer an appreciated virtue. People often break down under pressure but on our television they break down for a few extra votes. Maybe a win will really solve their problems; well if it does, then I think the easiest way to a win is to garner the sympathies of the voters rather than improving their capabilities.

Maybe times are really changing! For everything and anything all you need to do now is put up an act...the more the volume of tears, the better it sells!

:)

Some realizations and the emotions that they bring along require lot of solitude...perhaps a little too much :)

Being Different

This happened on a visit to one of the many malls in Banglore. It was afternoon and I was standing bored in a queue to be served by a very famous restaurant chain. I overheard a lady ordering a full course meal for her kid. I looked at the kid. By no means would he have finished that amount of food. I wondered if she did it out of ignorance or apathy. Ironically, just outside the mall there was this huge settlement of people who probably lived a hand to mouth existence and would have been surprised at our lack of discipline while ordering and throwing away food.

As I stood with these thoughts and disillusioned in general, there came a family which asked the attendant to pack their remaining food in a container. The attendant frowned at having to do something out of his way, for he was better off serving people rather than packing left overs for some nutty customer. The man(probably the father) politely requested him to pack it so that they could go back home and finish the meal later, rather than throwing it in the dump  which would have been sheer wastage. The stern and confident request made the attendant do as was asked. I smiled and so did many others. I could sense the man was probably a high flying executive by his mannerisms but what was more endearing was that he had his basics right.

It reimposed my faith in the belief that charity begins at home. To change the world you need to first change yourself. That man, who, inspite of his economic stature knew the value of food, would leave a rich legacy for his kids. A legacy that is not materialistic but yet far more treasurable! People like this remind me of the inherent capabilities of the brash and the insensitive generation …yeah that's us  :)  

Asking the right way :)

I was on my weekly visit to the temple and I came out in some deep thought. Deep, because I didn't hear him for the first time.

He: Mam, can you spare some change? I want to have some tea.
Me: No. (walking away)
He: Wow! you can drop a few coins in that donation box because your all powerful god needs it but not spare a few for me.
Me: (Smiling)
He: Now will you spare some change?
Me: ??
He: That argument usually wins me enough for a cup of tea. Well.........I mean usually.....
Me: (Hands him 5 Rs, the exact amount for a cuppa in a nearby stall with a ear to ear grin)

His sarcasm and self deprecating wit really made my evening. And I thought that marketing could be done only by the elite few!

For a friend!

Some people walk into your lives and manage to make a place that no one else can fill, if they leave. I am always lucky to meet people who teach me the biggest philosophies thru their life. This piece is dedicated to one such person. A person who lived in the shadow of death for almost a decade and yet managed to live a life fuller than many others.

Her dad's death was probably a big blow and what seemed to be headaches owing to the sadness was later diagnosed as brain tumor. The innumerable treatments saved her life but not without taking away her vision. Saved from death to never see the world again! Was it worth it? Well, each one of us may have doubts but not she. She lived on to complete her graduation and post graduation and it was here that I met her. All my doubts about 'Is this life worth living' were laid to rest then and there. This beautiful, fair, waist length haired girl taught me never ever to take the 'routine' things of life for granted. It took much more than dedication and hard work to record lectures, listen to them and then give her examinations thru a writer. How many of us have cried when our portable cassette player didn't work? She would almost skip a few beats if hers didn't, because for her it was not a means of entertainment. It was her biggest ally. One who would fulfill her dream of being a post graduate! "Just because I cannot see does not mean I will make candles, I will at least try and see if I can write code"- the words are clearly etched in my memory. Those were the words of a delicate looking but feisty girl out to challenge destiny. She inspired many on her way. Our department head fought with the university to let her write exams with normal (really?) people. Yeah, she finally achieved her dream from on the most reputed colleges in the city.

Just when you thought that things were turning out to be ok, her tumor relapsed and she had been bed ridden since. A few days back when I had called up, her voice was not audible on the phone because of her weak state, but deep down I felt that she would come back just like she always did. We would then again pull her leg about growing fat. But she didn't!

She taught me to see the beauty in routine and feel blessed about it. She lived her life to the fullest and taught me what that phrase really meant. I am sure she would inspire many others en route to the other world.

Rest in Peace Yogini!

Humming.......

Sunte the hum yeh zindagi
gham aur khushi ka mel hain
humko magar aaya nazar, yeh zindagi woh khel hain
koi sab jeete, sab koi haar de
apni toh haar hain
yaar mere.....haan yaar mere....

sach mere yaar hain
bas wahi pyaar hain
jiske badle mein koi toh pyar de
baaki bekar hain yaar mere ...haan yaar mere



Saagar/ SP Balasubramaniam / RD Burman / Javed Akhtar