Monday, November 30, 2009

Anger management anyone?

For a person who is generally crystal clear about most of the things when I get stuck in the 'this-or-that' state I hate every moment of it. I am terribly upset and angry over something. One part of me says to shout loud and make my disagreement public. Another part says to just keep quiet and strike when the iron is hot. So far, the later is winning. What is the correct approach when you are angry? Is it to shout from rooftops and let the concerned people know about your displeasure or would it be to rather wait for an opportune moment and catch them unaware.

Public displays have an inherent advantage of making you feel better because you have already exhausted a lot of your emotions in trying to state and re-state your cause. However, at times you lose track of the final target and get more concerned about belittling someone else. Also, most often than not words used when you are angry have bitterness than rationality associated with them. That probably is the reason we have always been advised by elders to drink a glass of water whenever we are angry. It is actually to buy time and organize your thoughts before you start a verbal assault.

Staying (atleast trying to) calm and waiting for the opportune moment has it’s own benefits too! You do not risk speaking harsh thoughts which you would not be able to erase off even if you wanted to. You organize your thoughts; contemplate the problems at your end before raising the accusing finger. In all, this looks better but then you have a whole lot of emotions stacked inside you which would have been better off if released. It creates a dilemma and you are left wondering if this is indeed the correct approach. You just want to speak out, it takes too much efforts to keep quiet.

Not really sure what’s the best way out but staying quiet without actually giving up seems more tempting to me!


Pappul said...

Yeah ... I am not sure whats the right way ... do let me know once you find out :)

Vikash Kumar said...

How about staying quiet at the moment when u r raging with anger and sure to say things which won't be pretty. Then at your first leisure, think about it again and compose your thoughts in a mail/sms/chat and send. This gives u complete control on what u say.. and still you let out ur emotions at the earliest.

May be it will help resolve the differences as u will be communicating. I generally tell the other person what I feel in some way at the earliest.. rather than pent up all the emotions which can explode netime..

Striking at the opportune moment again would be a backlash.. and may create further confusion n strain the relationship.